Blog: Lubes - which one is right for me and why

Welcome to our women with vibrators collective! Every month we're here to take a deep dive into your most common sex questions. This month we're celebrating Not so Dry July, and we want to teach you about sexual lubricants

We're talking about specialised personal lubricants designed to help reduce friction and enhance pleasure during sexual acts. 

There are five basic types of sexual lubricants:

  • Water-based
  • Silicone-based
  • Hybrid
  • Naturally based
  • Oil-based

Each type of lubricant is unique, with countless formulas, flavours, and sensations for you to choose from.

By the end of this article, you will know how to choose the best lubricant for you and which ones to avoid. 

So let's get started.

Do I Need a Sexual Lubricant?

In our not so humble opinion, wetter is always better. 
Whether it's sex with yourself, another person, or your favourite sex toy, vaginal lubrication doesn't always come easily. 

It typically takes the average woman about 10-15 minutes of non-genital foreplay to start self-lubricating. 

That's kissing, rubbing, massaging, flirting, etc. 

Therefore, we strongly suggest you invest in a few lubricants, so you have one for every occasion.

Lubricants are also great because they can help reduce friction during sex. Reduced sexual friction means that condoms are less likely to break, sex is more pleasurable, and it can last longer. 

Also, many lubricants are specially designed to enhance the already pleasure-filled experience. They make sexual experimentation easy. Meaning you can shake up your sex routine by just changing which liquid you add! 

With all that being cleared up, let's start this wet and wild ride. 

Water-based lubricants

The good news:

Water-based lubricants are the most common of all the lubes. They're inexpensive, they last a long time, and they're always toy and condom compatible.

Water-based lubes are ideal for beginners in the world of sexual lubricants for many reasons. They come in countless flavours, sensations, and formulas. They can be used with any type of sex toy and are a great place to start your great lubricant experiment.

But, there are some things you need to be aware of before you choose one. 

The bad news:

Water-based lubricants tend to dry up pretty quickly during penetrative sex.
Their formula's base is water, and your body naturally absorbs water during sexy-play time.

*Pro-tip* You can keep a spray bottle near the bed. When your water-based lube dries up, spray some water onto the prior-lubricated area. Doing this reactivates the primary ingredients. 

Water-based lubricants have a long shelf life because of preservatives.
Many of these preservatives become primary ingredients in your favourite water-based lubricant. These chemicals can easily mess with your delicate pH balance. 

For those with a sensitive pH balance, you want to avoid a few key ingredients: glycerine and propylene glycol.

We won't bore you with the science of it all.

But basically, those two ingredients are found in nearly every water-based lubricant. They can cause havoc on your favourite body part. So steer clear of them if possible. 

Silicone-based lubricants

The good news:

Silicone-based lubricants are some of the safest and one of the longest-lasting you can possibly buy. They tend to have a very long shelf life with fewer additives. They also don't dry up as quickly as water-based lubricants.

Since they're silicone-based rather than water-based, they're great for water-based sex (i.e. Shower, hot tub, etc.) because they don't wash away quickly. 
Silicone lubricants are also generally hypoallergenic. This makes them ideal for women with sensitive skin or allergies. 

And if you love back-door play, silicone lube will always be your best option.

The bad news:

Silicone-based lubricants will pretty much stain everything they touch. So make sure you lay down a towel or your sex sheets if you're going to get frisky with a silicone-based lubricant. 

Also, because two silicone things shouldn't touch, you shouldn't pair a silicone-based lubricant with your silicone-containing sex toys. Doing this can cause the materials to deteriorate and become compromised.

About the hypoallergenic part, some people are still allergic to silicone-based lube. So, if you have sensitive skin, test it on another body part first. 

Naturally-based lubricants 

The good news:

Naturally-based lubricants are an obvious choice if you are a vegan, ethically-aware, or want to avoid added chemicals.

Naturally-based lubricants come in tons of different varieties. They typically still have water as the primary ingredient but also have some of nature's good stuff like aloe vera. 

These gorgeous and often organic options will be condom and toy compatible. So play away until your heart's content! 

Always check the label of your lubes. Many naturally-based sexual lubricants have certifications and may be organic, halal, kosher, and more!

The bad news:

You know those preservatives and additives you're trying to avoid by buying a naturally-based lubricant?

Yeah, those things extend their shelf life and stop you from having to reapply so frequently. So if your focus is keeping that body of yours pure, then be ready to reapply frequently. Also, you may need to pick up a new bottle every few months.

Natural lubricants also tend to come with a comparatively hefty price tag. But it's the same when you buy organic produce, so no surprise. 

Hybrid Lubricants

The good news: 

Hybrid lubes are generally a combination between water and silicone. They bring together the best of both worlds. Hybrids are less likely to stain your sheets and are generally condom compatible. They last longer and reduce friction more than your standard water-based lubricant. 

The bad news:

They're more expensive, and there's generally a more limited selection than water- or silicone-based parents. These are relatively new to the lubricant scene, so you just won't have many to choose from.

Whether they're safe to use with your toy, we're not 100% sure, but we wouldn't take the risk. 

Oil-based lubricants

The good news:

Oil-based lubricants are the longest-lasting, and they're the cheapest option. You can usually find these in your kitchen cupboards.

Oil-based lubricants are ideal for UNPROTECTED anal sex since they are long-lasting. But that's the end of the "good" news. 

The bad news:


They ruin your toys, stain your sheets, and likely cause your skin to break out. They're not specially designed for sex either (we're talking Crisco lard and avocado oil), so who knows what they'll do to your delicate pH balance. For us, it's never worth the risk. Don't put it there if it isn't designed to go on your beloved genitals. 

Wetter is Better

If you make your own natural lubrication and aren't sure if you actually need lubricant, just give it a shot and see if you enjoy it!

There are countless tingling sensations to help make your erotic experience unforgettable. Here at Joy for Women, we celebrate our women with vibrators and stand behind all of our product selections. 

If you're unsure which lubricant suits you, try a few different ones. Luckily, we sell a range of body-safe lubricants here at Joy, so experiment away!

As sexologist Elaine S. Turner always says, "Think of a sexual lubricant like pairing a glass of wine with a meal. You never know what you're going to want to always have a few options on hand." 

If you have any more questions about which lube is right for you, you can talk to Elaine or email us!


Get out there, get in there, and get off there!

Elaine S. Turner

Sexologist | Dating, Sex, & Relationship Coach | Pleasure Product Expert


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